Coping with Stress

Families under stress sounds like an everyday occurrence, doesn't it? But what if I told you that was a good thing? What if stress is good for you? Would you believe me? I know I might sounds crazy, but stress can help us grow as a person. When we are put in those tough situations, individually or as a family, we are pushed to work harder and to become better. Having those challenges in our lives can help us grow closer to those around us, and we can also learn more life skills. Stress can definitely benefit our lives. We can learn so much from being stressed out. In my life I have been stressed out plenty of times. But that just means there is extra strain or tension in my life. I have seen on those days that I feel the most stressed out, I don't feel like I can accomplish whatever is stressing me out. I feel like I won't be able to move on. But then after the day passes then I realize, "wow I did it, I could do it after all." It is interesting to see that in the moment of stress and anxiety, it feels impossible to be able to move on. But in those moments we need to be able to use stress effectively, and to benefit ourselves and those around us. 

In the text "Marriage and Family" by Lauer and Lauer, it has a list of effective coping strategies we can use as a foundation to better cope with stress. They are...

• Manage conflict well
• Celebrate birthdays, holidays, vacations, etc.
• Communication
• Financial management
• Hardiness
• Health
• Shared leisure activities 
• Acceptance of each members' personality
• Social support network
• Sharing routines
• Traditions

Now, these things we can do are more in a family setting. So they give us great insight on what we can do to create a healthy environment. And in your family you will see stressful times. Maybe the provider of the family looses their job, or there is a death in the family, or there was a house fire, etc. There are many things that can pop up in our day to day lives that can create tension in the household. But as long as we keep our cool, and do our best to work through the situations, we will learn from them and become a better person. The list above helps us be able to start those patters, and create a foundation of knowing how to be better with stressful situations. Another list Lauer and Lauer mentioned in their text was a list of tools for effective coping. 

• Take responsibility
• Affirm your own and your family's worth
• Balance self-concern with other concern
• Learn the art of reframing
• Find and use available resources

I love this list. To me when I read those phrases I just think of self reliance. We need to be self reliant and we need to be able to think for ourselves and we need to know how we can help ourselves get through hard times. If we aren't able to depend on ourselves, then we tend to rely on those around us. And those people won't be around us forever. We are fully capable to make our own decisions. We ourselves can choose the better path for ourselves. And who really knows us better than ourselves? (besides God). 

What I have really gotten our of this weeks topic, is that we can choose how stressed out we become. We can choose and really freak out about different situations, or we can be aware that life is getting pretty crazy, and that's ok. If we do feel stress that is ok. That's going to happen, and it is good that it is happening. We just need to be able to control that stress. Don't let it overcome your life. You can make those stressful situations fun and positive. Laugh at those hard times. Recognize your accomplishments. Smile and help brighten someone else's day. You can get through it. Believe in yourself and just keep moving on. This rollercoaster we are on is called life, and we are along for the ride.