Coping with Stress

Families under stress sounds like an everyday occurrence, doesn't it? But what if I told you that was a good thing? What if stress is good for you? Would you believe me? I know I might sounds crazy, but stress can help us grow as a person. When we are put in those tough situations, individually or as a family, we are pushed to work harder and to become better. Having those challenges in our lives can help us grow closer to those around us, and we can also learn more life skills. Stress can definitely benefit our lives. We can learn so much from being stressed out. In my life I have been stressed out plenty of times. But that just means there is extra strain or tension in my life. I have seen on those days that I feel the most stressed out, I don't feel like I can accomplish whatever is stressing me out. I feel like I won't be able to move on. But then after the day passes then I realize, "wow I did it, I could do it after all." It is interesting to see that in the moment of stress and anxiety, it feels impossible to be able to move on. But in those moments we need to be able to use stress effectively, and to benefit ourselves and those around us. 

In the text "Marriage and Family" by Lauer and Lauer, it has a list of effective coping strategies we can use as a foundation to better cope with stress. They are...
  • Manage conflict well
  • Celebrate birthdays, holidays, vacations, etc.
  • Communication
  • Financial management
  • Hardiness
  • Health
  • Shared leisure activities 
  • Acceptance of each members' personality
  • Social support network
  • Sharing routines
  • Traditions
Now, these things we can do are more in a family setting. So they give us great insight on what we can do to create a healthy environment. And in your family you will see stressful times. Maybe the provider of the family looses their job, or there is a death in the family, or there was a house fire, etc. There are many things that can pop up in our day to day lives that can create tension in the household. But as long as we keep our cool, and do our best to work through the situations, we will learn from them and become a better person. The list above helps us be able to start those patters, and create a foundation of knowing how to be better with stressful situations. Another list Lauer and Lauer mentioned in their text was a list of tools for effective coping. 
  • Take responsibility
  • Affirm your own and your family's worth
  • Balance self-concern with other concern
  • Learn the art of reframing
  • Find and use available resources
I love this list. To me when I read those phrases I just think of self reliance. We need to be self reliant and we need to be able to think for ourselves and we need to know how we can help ourselves get through hard times. If we aren't able to depend on ourselves, then we tend to rely on those around us. And those people won't be around us forever. We are fully capable to make our own decisions. We ourselves can choose the better path for ourselves. And who really knows us better than ourselves? (besides God). 

What I have really gotten our of this weeks topic, is that we can choose how stressed out we become. We can choose and really freak out about different situations, or we can be aware that life is getting pretty crazy, and that's ok. If we do feel stress that is ok. That's going to happen, and it is good that it is happening. We just need to be able to control that stress. Don't let it overcome your life. You can make those stressful situations fun and positive. Laugh at those hard times. Recognize your accomplishments. Smile and help brighten someone else's day. You can get through it. Believe in yourself and just keep moving on. This rollercoaster we are on is called life, and we are along for the ride.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Divorce

When I hear to word "divorce," it makes me rather sad. Divorce is a very difficult time for the couple, the children (if applicable), the extended family, and friends, and basically everyone involved in the couples lives. Now, I do understand that there are times where the divorce is necessary. There may be abuse or some sort of danger in the relationship and it is best to get away. I do understand that there are situations like that, but I believe for the most part divorce comes from the struggles of a couple. There is a process of divorce. Divorce doesn't happen over night. It takes time. Lauer and Lauer mention in their text "Marriage and Family" the the first step in the process is Recognition. Recognition: one or both spouses become aware of serious problems, begin to feel doubt about relationship- 40% of doubts in the first 6 months, 60% in the first year. Doubts are caused by spouse's controlling behavior, lack of responsibility, and lack of emo...
Read more

Communication

Communication is a big part in all our lives. There is verbal communication and even non-verbal communication (other forms as well). I do know communicating in a relationship or with your spouse can be tricky at times. Communication is something we need to work on all the time. But how can we be better communicators? What can we do to better understand others, or make sure we don’t hurt someone else’s feelings on accident? In the text by Laurer and Laurer (you know the one I always quote). They had a list of ideas on how we can become better communicators. The list goes as follows… Improving listening skills ·       Take initiative to communicate ·       Resist distractions ·       Control your emotions and tendency to respond before your spouse is finished ·       Ask questions, rephrase for clarity ·       Summarize ·    ...
Read more

The Value of Work

When I was younger my parents tried EVERYTHING to try to get my siblings and I to do our chores. For us kids, cleaning the house was the worst thing that could ever happen to us. We would wine and complain every time we were asked to help around the house. We were usually asked to help clean up dinner after we had all ate. And dishes were by far the worst job in the history of jobs. We hated doing the dishes. Then on Saturdays we would have Saturday jobs which meant we had to deep clean the house. We were in charge of our bedroom and another room in the house. We would need to dust and vacuum that room. And looking back on it now, the jobs would have been done really fast. But we would all complain about doing it for a couple of hours, then we would start cleaning. But while we were cleaning we would be crying and complaining about it. I made that sound really dramatic and maybe we were as bad as I made it sound... but we for sure did NOT like it at all!! Now that I am older, I see...
Read more