Communication

Communication is a big part in all our lives. There is verbal communication and even non-verbal communication (other forms as well). I do know communicating in a relationship or with your spouse can be tricky at times. Communication is something we need to work on all the time. But how can we be better communicators? What can we do to better understand others, or make sure we don’t hurt someone else’s feelings on accident?

In the text by Laurer and Laurer (you know the one I always quote). They had a list of ideas on how we can become better communicators. The list goes as follows…

Improving listening skills

·      Take initiative to communicate

·      Resist distractions

·      Control your emotions and tendency to respond before your spouse is finished

·      Ask questions, rephrase for clarity

·      Summarize

·      Practice

Now, that’s a pretty solid list. We have a lot of guidelines to help us start practicing on how to become better communicators. And these skills can be applied to relationships or with friends or family. With anyone really!

I know from personal experience that I am not the best listener for my spouse… Don’t get me wrong I listen to him and we are able to communicate, but I tend to tune him out sometimes. He will be talking to me and I am super engaged in the conversation, but then all the sudden I’m off focusing on something else. It is especially bad when we are in a public place and things are happening around us. I am a people watcher. I love to just see what everyone is doing, and try to read them. I know I’m weird… But anyways I just get distracted for some reason, and I don’t do it on purpose! I will just remember after I was out of it for a while. I will just blurt out and say, “I WASN’T LISTENING!” Then he will give me the look (he knows that I tune him out) and start over again. And this time I really focus and listen in. So we make it work but it doesn’t mean that it’s ok for me to do that to him! It’s something I need to work on for sure. One of the suggestions above that I will work on is the second one for sure, resist distractions! What one will you choose to work on to be a better communicator?

Also, in the text the authors mentioned things we need to look out for during our conversations. Those suggestions are…

·      Ordering around/bossing around

·      Threatening

·      Moralizing

·      Providing solutions

·      Lecturing

·      Ridiculing

·      Analyzing

·      Interrogating

When reading through this list did a name pop into your head because you know someone who does one or more of those things?? I feel like I do see some of those annoying things that some people do. Like the people that just interrupt the conversation and cut you off and just talk about themselves. So those are great things to look out for during our conversations so we don’t annoy those around us.

Ok, so we have learned/ become aware of some things that we can do to better in our communication with others, to have better conversation with those around us. Communication gets us a lot of places in life. It’s how we communicate that helps us relate to others and helps us express our feelings. If we can’t express ourselves we will struggle to be able to connect with those around us- especially our spouse. A good foundation in communication will help us go far in life. It will help us be more relatable and trustworthy.